The Best Of “Conservative Pundit”

Last July, at the start of the 2016 Republican Primary, a new Twitter account appeared, mocking the state of Conservative punditry. This week, the account is being retooled for the general election. I’d like to take this opportunity to recount his best moments. I’ll be using images instead of embedded tweets so that it keeps that distinctive Buckley look.

On the first day of the account, this tweet quickly gained traction:

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He quickly started rattling pundits:

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One Ian Tuttle Article Showcases The Failings of Conservatism

Today, the National Review published an article from young writer Ian Tuttle. As far as articles go, it wasn’t that interesting on the surface. By that, I mean it is pretty standard “conservatarian” dullness. Conservatarian being a word for people who’ve given up the traditionalist element of Conservatism, and stick to interventionism and libertarianism, while staying anti-abortion because solely they need to. National Review Online Editor, Charles C.W. Cooke wrote a very boring book advocating this position last year.

This article, however, does a great job of showcasing the intellectual dead-end present at the National Review and other donor-funded boondoggles which claim to represent the entire spectrum of acceptable right-wing opinions.

Let’s see if you can tell me what’s wrong with this quote:

It’s ironic that, as conservatives rage against the overlords of their preferred online realms, they are also, in another context, fighting to shield business owners’ right to free association in the marketplace. Jewish bakers should not have to bake cakes for Skokie’s swastika set, &c. We should permit similar liberty to Mark Zuckerberg, or Twitter’s elusive “Jack.”

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The Alt-Right and Byzantium

If you spend enough time digging through the Alt-Right world (which I’m describing as the right-wing but non-conservative space in politics), and make your way through the rough exterior, you will find many interesting idiosyncrasies. One of them is a number of people, myself included, fascinated with the Byzantine Empire.

For those unfamiliar, the Byzantine Empire is the name historians gave to the Roman state based in the eastern Mediterranean following the ascent of Odoacer over what remained of the Western Roman Empire. The common story is the Roman Empire fell in 476 AD when Odoacer assumed power in Italy. However, the Emperors in the east reigned until 1453, when Constantinople fell to the Ottomans.

The history of the Byzantines hit a number of issues that are held closely by the Alt-Right. First of all, the fall of the Roman Empire is an area of historical significance that draws anyone who seeks to understand patterns of massive political change and upheaval of civilizations. The Byzantines are naturally a part of that story. They continued on from their weakened position for almost a millennium, accounting for about half of the days between the Rome’s foundation by Romulus and the fall of Constantinople. Understanding this civilization is one source from which the Alt-Right seeks knowledge about what might happen to our own Western Civilization and what it might take to preserve it.

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Republicans Could Have Been Winning With Trumpism

Republicans have often been accused of losing and failing to fight in Congress. I’ve been thinking though, what would it look like if Republicans had the wherewithal, commitment and desire to fight the left as strongly and in the same manner as Trump has?

Let’s imagine a fairly typical case where Republicans fold: the budget. Rather than the Republican house, with the approval of the Senate, holding the power of the purse and funding the parts of government it sees fit to, we are stuck in a situation where Obama’s veto holds more weight than than everyone on Capitol Hill.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

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The Defense of Garnax

Author’s Note: This is the first story I’ve written in a wide and expansive universe. I’ll be adding others with time, but I’m hoping to make each story stand on it’s own. I plan on focusing on the fun parts of the epic narrative, and letting the rest be up to the reader’s imagination. I don’t necessarily plan to write and release stories in a linear order, but I’ll keep them listed in chronological order in the index. That said, if I was doing this as a long epic, this would be the prologue.

Five Palantine corvettes emerged from the blackness of space over the planet of Garnax, their forward laser batteries fully charged. Immediately in front of them lay a ship escaping the war torn planet below being captured by three Ascendancy frigates. General Penrose, commanding from the bridge of one of the corvettes, gave orders to the relief group:

“Open fire on the lead frigate across its hull, I don’t want him bringing that civilian ship any closer. Start scanning transmissions from the civilian ship and patch through any of their hails.”

Blue streaks came streaming out from dishes mounted on the front of the corvettes, dancing over the surface of the ship which had the civilian ship in its tractor beam. After a second of fire, an explosion erupted from inside the frigate; one of the beams had hit their main energy storage block. A few seconds later, the frigate began breaking up. The other two frigates had now gotten their shields up, but had immediately begun retreating.

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